Cute pieces from Zachary's Smile.

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8 Things No One Tells You About marriage
As seen in REDBOOK By Ylonda Gault Caviness

1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I signed up for.  Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. That's when the disappointment sneaks in. It's not him. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination.  Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me  you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale. 

2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.

Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.  If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done — it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies.  As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
   

3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).

Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.  You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest.  A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone.  Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime.

4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.

As attraceted as you are to your man there are times that you won't feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with him.  There are also plenty of nights when he's not in the mood. So maybe a few days go by when we don't do it. And then a few more. And.... Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell isn't a sign that you've lost your mojo or that you'll never have sex again. It just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex.  And don't kid yourself; no one in America is doing it as often as popular culture would have you believe. Instead of worrying about how much you think you "should" be having sex, keep the focus on figuring out your own rhythm. The key is to make sure that even if you're not doing "it," you're still doing something-touching, kissing, hugging.

5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

 FELLAS WANT TO KNOW WHY YOUR WOMAN IS ALWAYS ANNOYED WITH YOU?

Today we'll talk about the 8 Reasons why she hates you sometimes!!!  Ladies feel free to call and add to the list....466-0103 or email chriscaliente@103jamz.com.

ANNOYANCE #1

You don't pick up after yourself at our place.

Actually, we really don't mind if you're a little messy. An empty beer bottle here or dirty T-shirt there--no problem. But when we start seeing pieces of you (literally) all over the place, we tend to go off. Like when we find your hairs all over our bar of Dove, or toenail clippings on the nightstand, or a pile of chewed-out sunflower-seed shells on the counter. Please clean that up before we see it and want to gag. And then we'll promise to be better about leaving globs of our hair in your shower drain. Do we have a deal?

ANNOYANCE #2

You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs...

…yet conveniently don't mention your sportsbook.com account or the $200 you lost on the NCAA parlay. Until we're sharing a bank account with you, we're not all that interested in your opinions on how we should or should not spend our money.  The perfect boyfriend response: "Wow, [fierce/sexy/hot] new [haircut/handbag/lingerie item]. I guess dinner is on me tonight!" Then wait a few days to bring up your financial concerns, by proposing we both start saving for something we want to buy together.

ANNOYANCE #3

You talk to us as if we're one of the guys.

If you have any romantic inclinations toward us, please don't call us by our last name. Otherwise we'll assume we've already been relegated to buddy status and start thinking of you that way, too. Also, you'll rarely find us holding entire conversations in  Simpsons and Old School quotes.  No, the conversation doesn't have to be all about us, but we do want you to shoot for topics of mutual interest.

ANNOYANCE #4

You speak of the future vaguely.

Men seem to have perfected a special way of talking about the future that makes it unclear whether we're a part of it or not. Or maybe you don't know you're doing this? For instance, you frequently mention your buddy's wedding in another state 6 months from now and you haven't asked us to go with you. If you picture us in your future, try talking about these things in such a way that we'll stick around for it.

ANNOYANCE #6

You blatantly look at porn.

We don't care that you masturbate, and we can't change the fact that you might occasionally browse the fine and varied selection of naked ladies on the Internet. But if you're looking at porn on a computer we also use, kindly delete your history.
 ANNOYANCE #7

You turn down sex.

When it so happens that we're the one who wants sex and you're the one who doesn't, we find your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure us that we're attractive and that you love us, but that you just aren't in the mood. It helps to throw out a hint at what's going on--that you're tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever. If we happen to be fresh off a girls' night out tipsy and ready for sex, which you're refusing, tread extra carefully. Horny can change to emotional, crying wreckage very quickly when your girl has a couple of glasses of Alize in her.

ANNOYANCE #8

You ask us out via text.

Texting is fast and easy and leads to sexy banter--but save it until after the first date. Calling a woman to ask her out is much more personal. It takes more effort (and balls), which is exactly what we find so sexy about your doing it. Okay, it's an unfair burden for you, but it comes with an advantage: It makes you stand out from the mass of other men who text instead of calling.   SOURCE

Cool as a fan

"It's ok ladies...I got enough to go around."  Mike Luv - Age 3

If you're a scorned baby mama check out babymamadrama.com for some enlightening news!

Post Natal Nookie

The arrival of a first child is a huge change. Gone are leisurely Saturday mornings filled with coffee and lingerie piled on the living-room floor. The baby demands all--time, energy, attention, space--and despite knowing that, you may be in a complete state of denial about the impact it will have on your physical relationship.

So are most new parents, according to John Gottman, PhD, and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, authors of And Baby Makes Three and founders of the Seattle-based Relationship Research Institute, where they run workshops to help new parents preserve intimacy. "Sexual intimacy is directly related to relationship satisfaction," says John Gottman, "and research shows that two-thirds of women become unhappy with their relationship within four months of the birth of a child."

But there are ways to keep the home fires burning. After all, most couples have a baby to bring more love into the family, not less. Ultimately, my wife and I hit upon a solution whose simplicity belied its efficacy: We designated one room in the house, a small spare bedroom, the sex room. It worked for us. It was our space. We rigged it up with a baby monitor and headed down the hallway two or three naptimes a week. That's how we made sure baby number one was followed by baby number two. Here are five prescriptions for reinvigorating intimacy once your love bears fruit.

Accept her timetable
"Men and women start back on the road to physical connection from very different places," says Carolyn Pirak, director of Gottman's intimacy workshops. "For that first six months, most women experience a sharp decrease in desire. That's just the way it is."

Rub her the right way
"Sexual intimacy arises from emotional intimacy," says Gottman, "and after a baby's birth, physical intimacy needs to be reheated slowly." Find little ways to reintroduce physical touch. Try using a nonsexual approach, such as giving her a foot massage.

Win the mind game
Relationships are built through a bidding process of small gestures that seek attention. Say your partner is reading the newspaper and murmurs "Hmm." "Responding positively to a bid for attention is a foundational behavior for successful couples," says Gottman.

Mop it up
Once a baby arrives, housework becomes a sort of Foreplay 2.0. "Our research shows that men who help around the house more often have more and better sex," says Pirak. "The key to the bedroom could be the vacuum cleaner."

Schedule sex
Just as you had to overhaul your home for the baby, you need to reconfigure your physical relationship with a greater degree of intentionality. One idea: Alternate responsibility for initiating intimacy. "It's like movie night," says Pirak. "Take turns choosing the time and place for sex once a week. It sounds crazy, but it works."

Good Luck Fellas...and don't say that ya girl ain't ever do a thing for ya, wink!


No matter how many episodes of Oprah or Dr.Phil we watch we tend to forget or simply ignore these facts about men and relationships. So read on and imprint these lessons in your head.  This is the truth!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.   If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important thanyou are...even if he has more education or in a better job. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT


WHY MEN REALLY CHEAT

Men could be monogamous. They really could but there are medical conditions that prevent them from staying faithful. There are three of them that women need to know about.

 Restless Brain Syndrome - Men who cheat are often afflicted with this ailment. They need to keep their minds busy in order not to stray.

Infidelity Denial Disorder - Men who have this ailment are often unclear about what the definition of cheating is and come up with ways to justify their infidelity. For instance, if a guy doesn't think getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating, he will do it. Meanwhile, ask any woman out there and she'll tell you that behavior like that is definitely cheating.

Ego Reflux Disease - Guys who suffer from this have such huge egos that cheat just because they can. The opportunity to cheat is there and they are going to take it!

Hope this helps some of the ladies out there! -- Anonymous Guy

 
OK here's the low on me....

Born in Harlem, NY I relocated to the 7 Cities
in 1995 with my mom.  A Princess
 Anne High graduate class of 98'
pursued a degree at Christopher
Newport University in Newport News. 
 I got my start in radio in 2000 where
I was hired at Clear Channel as a
 Sales Assistant.   I had what most would
consider a cool job, no pressure good pay but,
I was soooo bored.  Something about being
 confined to four walls just doesn't suit me. 
Mad respect to anyone who has worked
an office job for years...you're great!
I wandered the building for 80% of my day. 
I was curious to learn how this heavy machine
 known as radio works.  So one day DJ Law
 asked me to step in the studio and kick it
for a minute with the Boodah Brothers. 
I thought "I could really lose my job
 being I have no business in this studio." 
That thought didn't last long,
 I kept it movin got on the mic and loved
 it so much I knew my
destiny was looking right at me,
 in the form of a microphone.  The rest is history!

I worked at utilizing all things radio
 and soon was co-hosting on WOWI-FM
 103 Jamz "Da Block" with DJ Bee as
Miss Chris.   I like to think I mastered
the art of hosting and moved to middays
at WBHH-FM, We're Blazin Hip-Hop 92.1
The Beat as the First Lady of the Beat!
  Finally I was given the chance to rock
 the airwaves with some of the areas top
 DJ's and now catch me holding down the
 top midday spot in the 757 on WOWI-FM
103 Jamz as the Mid-day Mami.  I'm a super
busy wife and mom too...so I feel ya ladies. 
The ultra cute child below...yep he's mine. 
Call him "Mike Luva"



Fun Times in the tub!

&
The Beach!

CALIENTE'S CUISINE
Are you a busy mom, wife and ?  I can relate.  I've decided to share with you some of my favorite no-hassle recipes.  Most of the recipes in Caliente's Cuisine will be quick, easy and very satifying for the whole family.  No desserts though...I'm not so good at those.  If it isn't in a box labled "Betty Crocker" it doesn't have a home in my kitchen.  Feel free to send your favorite dessert recipe to chriscaliente@103jamz.com I will give it a try.
(Will update soon)